Message Boards for the CF Trust

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Louise

Posts: 63
From: France
Registered: 26-Feb-2004

DISABLED PARKING!!!
Posted: 01-Mar-2004 13:07

Reply

Hi there, my hubby Andrew has blue disabled badges for parking due to him, obviously, having CF. We use them regularly and find it a great help, especially when struggling back to the car with armfuls of food!!! The problem is, to anybody else, Andrew looks like a perfectly normal 6ft1" slightly skinny 21 year old and not at all the sort of person you expect to have a disabled badge. The result - abuse or funny looks!! Personally I find this offensive. Andrew doesn't seem to hacked off about it, probably used to it by now, but I really don't feel like letting it go. One elderly gent once stopped us in Asda car park and said "those spaces are for disabled people, you shouldn't be parking there". I was furious but Andrew just said "Look on my windscreen and you will see a disabled badge".

Well dealt with I am sure but I wanted to take it further, I wanted to tell him that Andrew may outwardly look like your average healthy guy but inside he is very very ill and needs to be parked near to the store. We get funny looks ALL the time and I want to shout, he IS disabled now stop staring you ignorant !@?*. Still, I bite my tongue because as mad as it makes me, it is Andrews illness and not my right to go telling people about it. Andrew sometimes winds it up further though by doing a little skip and jump as we leave the car to further fuel speculation that we are fraudsters!!!

Anyone else have this problem or a way of dealing with the stares?

FiC

Posts: 337
From: North of Aberdeen
Registered: 09-Feb-2004

Re: DISABLED PARKING!!!
Posted: 01-Mar-2004 16:21

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Hi Louise - this isn't 'my board' but was interested to read your post - I don't the same problem but have read about it before. My reaction was first, grow a thick skin and try not to let it bother you, and then second, you should be pleased (?) that the situation is such that people don't recognise the disability for what it is. it sounds really perverse, but if i ever mention i get DLA and people ask why, that in a way is a good thing. it means that things aren't at the stage we're all dreading! i think he's right to play it up and skip - its prob his way of sticking his finger up at them - small minded people who have nothing better to do that waste energy glaring at 'wrong doers'- and at cf, which we all like to do once in a while.

Good luck to the pair of you and you sound like a great wife!

Louise

Posts: 63
From: France
Registered: 26-Feb-2004

Re: DISABLED PARKING!!!
Posted: 01-Mar-2004 20:24

Reply

Will try to grow that thick skin immediately!!!

Don't know if the urge to scream "Don't judge him you moron!!!" will ever go away, but in the meantime will encourage andrew's skipping!

Don't worry about gatecrashing our board - it is great to get the opinion/ perspective of a pwcf!

Genie

Posts: 137
From: Norfolk
Registered: 07-Feb-2004

Re: DISABLED PARKING!!!
Posted: 01-Mar-2004 22:05

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HI LOUISE

ive had the same problem. My 10 year old son has a blue disabled badge. We get lots of funny looks and have been told we cant park there. I get out of the car with 4 children and none of us look disabled. I know how you feel, I had this old man actually swear at me as I had taken the last space. And as I was lifting a pram out of my car he said that I possibly couldn't be disabled with all these kids. When I said my son had cystic fibrosis he was so apologetic.
Now I try to ignore the looks.
Gina

Louise

Posts: 63
From: France
Registered: 26-Feb-2004

Re: DISABLED PARKING!!!
Posted: 01-Mar-2004 22:28

Reply

I really want to tell them Andrew, my husband, has CF too but as he is an adult, I have to leave that down to him. I wish I could though - if not only to make them think twice about judging people in the future. You should get a badge for coping with 4 kids, never mind having one with cf too!!!

Guest

Re: DISABLED PARKING!!!
Posted: 02-Mar-2004 12:59

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Hi There

Yes I have this problem all the time. I find it very hard to control my anger. as most of the time it is old people that question me. The picture on the badge is of person in a wheel chair most old people are not in wheel chairs. When they say you don't look disabled just ask them if they are a doctor and the reaction is brilliant.

Sometimes I walk up to my car with an over exaggerated limp just to annoy anyone watching. Good to have a sense of humor as well though. I know I find it very hard to contain myself.

Harley

Darling

Posts: 731
From: Here
Registered: 06-Feb-2004

Re: DISABLED PARKING!!!
Posted: 02-Mar-2004 14:13

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I often hint that the badge may be a clue. Of course enquiring as to their X-ray vision capabilities can also lead to interesting chats.

matt

Posts: 120
From: Jacksdale, Nottinghamshire
Registered: 09-Feb-2004

Re: DISABLED PARKING!!!
Posted: 02-Mar-2004 17:57

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I dont get questioned often regarding the use of my badge, although i dont "look" disabled. I use the same as Darling, ask about X Ray vision and ask them to inspect the badge! I learnt that from the previous board.

Matt

Jelli

Posts: 5
From: Yorkshire
Registered: 24-Feb-2004

Re: DISABLED PARKING!!!
Posted: 02-Mar-2004 18:06

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Hello everyone
Have u ever noticed that people without any disabilities do take the disabled spaces though?? At our local supermarket (naming no names - ASDA!!) we can hardly ever get parked because there are always some idiots parked in the disabled spaces who are not disabled. It makes me soooooooo mad - we once saw a sticker on one persons window who was parked in a disabled space without a badge showing that you are a pratt NOT disabled!!! Me and Andy were seriously considering having some made up ourselves with our own unique message attached (you can probably guess the content of the message!! LOL!!).
I must admit though I had the same problem when my children were babies - people without children used to use the spaces - it just makes me feel like there are a lot of people in this world that are very ignorant.

softie

Posts: 1,070
From: Croydon, Surrey
Registered: 07-Feb-2004

Re: DISABLED PARKING!!!
Posted: 02-Mar-2004 19:33

Reply

Ignorant and selfish. They are the only people in the world that they care about - "look out for number one"! I look out for people like that and try to avoid them as much as possible.

Kim (summerdays)

Posts: 301
From: south wales
Registered: 15-Nov-2006

Re: DISABLED PARKING!!!
Posted: 24-Nov-2006 08:41

Reply

Hi lou, i get this problem eveyday, im on the wrong board but had to answer you, i have huge arguments with old people neely every day, well that was until my car got damaged, now ive learned to say nothing, the man pushed a trolly into my car, when i got back to my car i had a huge dent. there are some shallow mined people around , they think unless your over 60 you cant be ill, half of them arnt !

Try and rise above it ...

kim x

loopylou

Posts: 90
From: wales
Registered: 06-Nov-2006

Re: DISABLED PARKING!!!
Posted: 24-Nov-2006 23:06

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kim my boyfriend carl gets funny looks when he parks in the disabled parking it might be the fact that he also has a moican hair style!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

loopylou

Posts: 90
From: wales
Registered: 06-Nov-2006

Re: DISABLED PARKING!!!
Posted: 27-Nov-2006 13:59

Reply

MY BOYFRIEND WHO HAS CF GETS LOOKS SOMTIMES TOO MIGHT BE BECAUSE DUE TO THE FACT HE HAS AN MOHICAN HAIRSTYLE GOT TO HAVE A BREAK FROM THE NORM SOMTIMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bill H

Posts: 11
From: Scotland
Registered: 30-Nov-2006

Re: DISABLED PARKING!!!
Posted: 01-Dec-2006 01:44

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Rise above it - I try to.

Otherwise just ask, "and what medical qualifications do you have?". When they say none feel free to say, "shut up then".

judy

Posts: 7
From: west midlands
Registered: 25-Nov-2006

Re: DISABLED PARKING!!!
Posted: 04-Dec-2006 17:28

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hi louise
as i'm new to this site, i've just read your message and we get the same funny looks and have posted a similar thing on the "talk site" check it out and see if it sounds familiar!