Message Boards for the CF Trust

Replies: 8 Pages: 1

CF--stinks

Posts: 1
Registered: 04-Dec-2006

PLEASE HELP

Posted: 04-Dec-2006 16:10

Reply

What do I do now

Basically all this started two years ago when I was a successful retail manager, a new area manager came in and even before our first meeting he sacked me.. quoting that I was no longer able to fulfil the terms and conditions of my contract.. because I had just spent three days in hospital because I stopped breathing

If that was not enough, we lost our home because it came with the job and had to declare myself homeless to the council.. Prob’ the most embarrassing time of my life.

Since that day I have been in permanent depression.. as my specialist at the Hospital said that it is best if I don’t work and I focus my attention on my health. So being stuck at home. Same old daily routine.. and for what, it seems like im going nowhere.. I feel useless, worthless and I am a burden on the NHS as I must cost it thousands a year.. and for what, what can I offer back to the community to make it worth while.

I lost a very close friend two years ago to CF and I spent a month crying.. wishing it was me instead as she had so much to look forward too, including a new baby. There is definitely no god.. if there was this sh*t would not happen to defenceless people like us who did nothing to deserve it

I have seen a community psychologist who says there is little he could recommend; my anti-depressants are up to maximum dose of fluoxitine.. there just seems no hope

I am a 26 year old male.. and im not embarrassed to say im crying even now

PLEASE HELP

DimBloke

Posts: 102
Registered: 11-Nov-2006

Re: PLEASE HELP

Posted: 04-Dec-2006 16:30

Reply

CF certainly does stink - you'll get no argument from me on that point.

You said that you have been at home focusing on your health - how is that at the moment? If there is any way health-wise that you can exercise then I would recommend that - it really does help with the depression side of things. I use some of my DLA to pay for a personal trainer - it helps motivate me to stretch myself and sometimes just getting to the gym takes a supreme effort but I feel better when I'm there even if I can only do a little.

It's easy to get into the trap of feeling that unless you are working you are not contributing to society but that's not true. You can always try getting involved in volunteering if you wanted - it's a good way to build confidence and many places allow you to volunteer on a flexible basis so you can go when your health allows.

Don't beat yourself up about getting upset or crying. We'd be a freaky bunch of people if having CF or losing friends to CF never affected us in this way.

lulahell

Posts: 71
Registered: 05-Nov-2006

Re: PLEASE HELP

Posted: 04-Dec-2006 16:38

Reply

Im only 16 but SIHT!.

1. That manager was out of order and should be executed.
2. I no what its like to loose a friend but mine was to menengitis and over night.
3. You are going to meet some great people on here who are going to help as much as possible.
4. There might seem like there is no hope at the moment but DONT give up this forum is here to help an thats what we do.

As for your anti-depressents have you thought of a herbal remidy i no it might sound weird but there is one called "St John's wort" that has all the good effects of anti-depressents but none of the bad it never gets you down all ways positive.

Louis

Ally

Posts: 68
From: Hunmanby near Filey
Registered: 06-Nov-2006

Re: PLEASE HELP

Posted: 04-Dec-2006 17:40

Reply

First i'm so sorry to hear that you've had a really tough time.
CF is very hard on us all in one way or another, whether it's your own health that it's affecting or loosing friends to it.
I've found exercise helps with depression and relieves the boredom as I no longer work. My life has been a lot of up's and downs, i've gone blind in one eye due to diabetes and suffer from anorexia. there have been times when I think why me? but I think this is normal when your faced with things like an illness.
I found that a long with exercise, that talking helps even if you sound like a right muppet. There's no sure cure for how your feeling but time helps along with what I've just said.
The one thing for sure is your not on your own and there are many CF's and their loved ones who have been in similar places like you.
I can't offer a magic tablet to help rid you of these feelings but i hope you start to feel better soon and we're thinking of you
kind regards
Ally

softie

Posts: 1,070
From: Croydon, Surrey
Registered: 07-Feb-2004

Re: PLEASE HELP

Posted: 04-Dec-2006 18:21

Reply

Before anything else, I have to point out something important:

DO NOT take St John's Wort at the same time as Fluoxetine or any other anti-depressant. People can get very serious interactions if attempting to take both.

Hello CF--stinks, I'm very sorry to hear how appallingly bad things are for you at the moment. I have suffered from mild depression, and though it was nowhere near as bad as yours I thought it more than I could bear, and I spent a lot of time crying over things.

Depression is something you have to live your way out of, one day at a time. As Ally says, exercise helps. You may be able to get your GP to fill in a form which will get you cheap time in a fitness club, and walking is an amazing aid to feeling down - if you find yourself pacing angrily, try to get yourself out for just five minutes walk round the block.

Would you be able to work part-time? Full-time work can be detrimental to your health, but a few hours, three days a week can fit in. Ask at your Jobcenter about schemes to get people back into work. Feeling useful is a tremendous aid when feeling depressed!

Depression is a hard bugger to fight off and can take some time, and by its very nature it feels even harder and seems to take even longer to deal with.

Take care. Survive. Stay strong.

Richard.

lulahell

Posts: 71
Registered: 05-Nov-2006

Re: PLEASE HELP

Posted: 04-Dec-2006 18:35

Reply

Sorry if i worded it wrong but thats what i ment softie i no if you take if you mix them there can be terrible affects so yeah IF you do decide to try the st johns wort STOP your other anti-depresents.

sandylizz

Posts: 97
From: Shrewsbury
Registered: 10-Nov-2006

Re: PLEASE HELP

Posted: 04-Dec-2006 23:27

Reply

Living with CF can be so hard esp when you are at home all day on your own with the same thing to do each day... And every day seems to be the same...

I totally understand the thing about wishing it was you, Ive spent the last two years wishing it was me when my sister died, as shes missed so much of her daughters life, Ive tried to be there but cant compare to the super mum that she was...

Im not well enough to do much exercise now but on the days when I feel I could manage to go out without my oxygen then I go out even if its to the shop to get some milk I will drive a longer way there and a longer way back just to spend some time out the house..

If you have pets esp dog why not take it for a little walk just to get some air or take it in the car if its to cold..

Hope you perk up soon, as when Im down I always feel more rotten with my health to..

xx Sandy xx

SamT

Posts: 8
From: Suffolk
Registered: 05-Dec-2006

Re: PLEASE HELP

Posted: 05-Dec-2006 10:01

Reply

Hi there, I am new to these forums and I am sorry to hear that you have been let down by an ignorant person.

Don't feel bad that you had to ask for help with housing because this could happen to any person in this country, with firms closing, business takeovers, moving call centres abroad, interest rates rising, credit problems, sickness/accidents etc. anyone could find themselves homeless. I dream of the lottery win...just got to remember to buy the flippin ticket!

I agree that volunteering is a great way to get back into a work focussed enviroment and exercise for sure lifts your spirits even with the limitation we may have health wise.

I began volunteering at a DIAL learning the benefits system and offering advice to disabled people and their carers, even where they could take a holiday which supplied care/hoists/ramps etc. I am now employed by that charity p/t and feel they are the best kind of employer as they accept none of us are perfect. As we live with discomfort/medicines/treatments we accept and don't complain about it, and often have a better sickness record than our 'normal' colleagues.
Volunteering does not usually affect benefits and you should be paid travelling expenses and get free training.
Goto a volunteer bureau in your area and get a list of organisations who need volunteers, like DIAL - Disability Information and Advice Line.

Stay Well!

SamT

ros

Posts: 31
From: Cambridge
Registered: 06-Nov-2006

Re: PLEASE HELP

Posted: 05-Dec-2006 10:50

Reply

dear cf stinks,
Am so sorry to hear how badly you've been treated and how unhappy you are. It is tough, not going to disagree with that, but there is hope, when you least expect it something good will come along. Have you tried writing? I know it sounds really corney but I often find when I am really in a bad horrible place, that writing everything down is quite cathartic and helps me pinpoint exactly what is wrong, which then I may be able to do something about.

I feel like a total burden on the NHS, my freinds and family and the world in general, but actually we are not! We do not choose to be like this, we all try to do as much as we can, it is the people who smoke, eat badly and ruin their own health that are the burden on society we are just unlucky. I agree that excercise is a great way to feel a little better, even if you just start by going for a short walk it is something. Have you thought about doing some sort of work from home? If you were in retail you might be able to do consultancy work, or maybe some sort of work on the computer, or you could do phone support, or volunteer for a phone line as I think they can install you a line at home. Is there a hobby you have that you might be able to make a bit of money from? I make cards and am a dressmaker. There are options, just be carefull not to over do it.

Lastly is there anything you can do about you're being sacked? If you did not fulfil your contract through illness then that is not your fault and I am sure they can't just sack you! Have you thought about contacting the employments triunal, or asking a lawyer?

I really hope that things get better for you, please keep posting as we all want to help....
Big hugs
ros
xx