Message Boards for the CF Trust

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Shelbert

Posts: 70
From: Ayrshire
Registered: 08-Nov-2006

Some folk are half baked

Posted: 19-Dec-2006 01:19

Reply

You know peeps tonight i got a txt from a friend i've known for 3 years although from the txt you'd think i'd only known him for 3 days.

This is what he said:
We were chattin about my cf like we usually do every so often and he said "What keeps your morale boosted", It must be really hard to feel a level of happiness" at which point i thought to myself what a bloody stupid, naive thing to say.

Obviously he thought because i have CF and have been on the list for 8 months and don't get up to much these days and lost friends that i'm ready to throw the towel in, yeah i'll admit that i have dark days but i'm very happy thank you very much and have plenty to be happy about come to that and if i get my call i might just live another 20 years, no one knows, i just found his comment in bad taste.

Does anyone out there agree with me or am i just being paranoid?

Shelbert

RogerRedHat

Posts: 565
From: Oxford
Registered: 09-Feb-2004

Re: Some folk are half baked

Posted: 19-Dec-2006 01:35

Reply

To be honest, after listing everything you're dealing with, I might be inclined to ask how you keep your morale boosted and I have CF at an advanced stage too. I'm still not sure if you're being serious of have a very dry sense of humour.

From your friends point of view it's a perfectly reasonable question to ask. You have a terminal lung disease, you need a lung transplant, this stops you getting out and you've lost friends. That's enough to put a sizeable dent in anyones enthusiasm for life.

I think you have to understand that for most people, just having a heavy cold is a big deal. The things your average CFer has to deal with just seem overwhelming to most people. I think they're just trying to understand how you cope with it all. It's hard to ask that sort of thing tactfully.

Shelbert

Posts: 70
From: Ayrshire
Registered: 08-Nov-2006

Re: Some folk are half baked

Posted: 19-Dec-2006 01:54

Reply

I hear what your saying about my friend asking it as a reasonable question but having cf isn't the end of the world even if i have no quality of life at the moment, maybe i'm just coping well, i really don't know but i found his question surprising as its never occured to me that i shouldn't feel happiness just because of my situation.

All the negative things are extremely hard to take and very upsetting but i know from past experience worrying and stressing just makes me worse, i have recently come back from a homeopathic clinic where it was suggested i should recieve hypnosis or meditation as i have so many problems in my life related to the cf that i need to do something about it and one of the things she said was i should change the way i think and she's completely right, ever since i was put on the list i have worried myself daft about what could or could not happen, so basically i have just wasted the last 8 months over something i can't change, i have always known my fate and know what will happen if i don't get my call and it WILL happen to me as i am not special but that doesn't mean i have to be down in the dumps about it, life is great and i hope it continues.

I'm sorry if you think i should feel any other way but i'm glad of your response, maybe others will feel the same.

I greatly appreciate all replies.

Shelbert

Shelbert

Posts: 70
From: Ayrshire
Registered: 08-Nov-2006

Re: Some folk are half baked

Posted: 19-Dec-2006 02:05

Reply

All i was really tryin to get across was having cf doesn't mean i can't feel happiness.

Shelbert

Darkies Gem

Posts: 89
From: Doncaster, UK
Registered: 10-Nov-2006

Re: Some folk are half baked

Posted: 19-Dec-2006 08:28

Reply

I wouldn't take it personally huni. I get the same question from my mate wcf, and similar questions like it. When I'm feeling down, I always end up asking them the same question.

Stangely though my best mate wocf, seems to understand xactly how I'm feeling and why, and try'sto work with that to make me feel as normal as possible.

Darling

Posts: 731
From: Here
Registered: 06-Feb-2004

Re: Some folk are half baked

Posted: 19-Dec-2006 08:36

Reply

Lots of people ask me that. The ususal one is "You're always smiling in spite of everything you have to do. How on earth do keep doing it?".

I don't mind that at all. At least they're trying to understand and it has led to people knowing what really goes on in CF world.

I just can't stand being called brave. Brave is someone who runs into burning buildings to rescue people, jumps into the docks to save a drowning person etc. It's a choice thing. I do what I do because I only have one other choice and I've got lots to do before I peg out.

The other one is "But you look so well". As if to say "you can't possibly have anything wrong with you!"